What's the Right Mood for Birthday?

I wonder, what's the right mood for birthday? A happy one? Or a gloomy one?
I used to be really excited about my birthday, counting down the days, imagining the bunch of fun, expecting surprises. But, I forgot when was the last time I felt excited about my birthday...

Reality somehow kills the dreams and imaginations that I used to have every birthday. Ironic enough, I remember feeling extremely sad every year on my birthday eve. Some awful incidents somehow happened on that particular day- arguments, accidents, disappointment.

I guess, from then, I learn not to expect much as I always believe disappointment comes from expectation. Lesson of 24 years of living- Stop expecting.

Happy Birthday in advance to myself. 

Standing own your own feet

Getting a car is not a simple decision; it's  done with much consideration: financial, ability to drive, safety etc etc.Nonetheless, most importantly, it's the sense of autonomy and independence that drives the motion of having a car. The definition of  autonomy seems clear enough,at the first glance- practice of self government that we consider right. But, the issue is not so simple... It is almost always relative as I guess, it is not wrong to say that there is no absolute independence/ autonomy.


     Back to the car issue- I have always tried to be as independent as possible.. Learning to cook, live outside, sleep alone, go to places i have never been alone etc etc.. All these seem to go on pretty well, except for one thing- driving. Maybe it's the bad experiences I had with the driving instructor, maybe it's my timidity, maybe it's the terrible sense of direction,maybe it's just me that makes me so phobic towards this driving thingy. On other hand, I realise that the inability to drive makes my sense of autonomy a little incomplete. Why? I have to depend on others (family members, friends, bus drivers, train drivers, taxi drivers etc etc) to travel...That somehow makes me feel that I'm such a burden to them and hence why, finally, the decision is made-get a car.




     I hope the day will come, the day where I can say firmly and loudly that "I like being a strong, independent woman, and to be honest, I was never afraid to be on my own"